Toy dolls for young girls, or evil demon monsters?

Everybody's heard of Barbies; they can be stupid, ridiculous, and annoying, but could they be dangerous?

At first glance, these Barbies look harmless, right? Look closer at there eyes. Are they a nice human shade of blue, green or brown? Nay, they are terrible mixes of purples half-blue-half-purple, half-gold-half-green,and reds ! (Okay, pinks, but pink is a shade of red, and people don't have pink eyes anyways, do they? That's more of a demon thing.) Also note that the 4th one's eyes are pointing opposite directions. Quite obvious insane. Remember, if a child plays with Barbies for an extended period of time, THEIR eyes will look like this too.





Purple/Pink
Violet
Red/Pink
Half-Green
Half-Gold
Half-Blue
Half-Purple
Okay, so they have weird eyes. Who cares? Lots of things have eyes like that. Albinos have pink eyes. But Barbies are obviously not albinos, as their hair is not bleached white. We can only conclude that they are evil demons bent on destroying the human race. Aside from this indisputable evidence, more is found in the Barbie movies. Look at their hair. Notice that it is all stuck together in one piece. This is most evident when they twirl and jump around in their weird songs with bad singing.






As you can see, the hair is firmly latched into one peice. Either they had an accident involving a large vat of glue, or THEY ARE DEMONS! Still not enough for you? Look at a Barbie doll's feet. They're ALSO glued together in one piece - they don't have individual toes, they only have a big flap!

As if all of this is not enough, the songs in those cheesy Barbie movies (and the things that those electronic Barbie dolls say) contain subliminal messages to repress individuality. They try to subvert young children by telling them that everyone else is a Barbie too. Click on the video to the left to play an example of one of these malicious songs. They're trying to convert small children to become evil demons, like the Barbies themselves. It's quite obvious that many of them have already accomplished this. That's right: Barbies make kids misbehave. If your child is acting out, they may be suffering from Barbie overexposure.